Tuesday, May 6, 2014

For I know the plans I have for you...{Foster Care Update Part 2}

This is Part 2 of my "For I Know The Plans I Have For You" post, you can read Part 1 HERE.

...The email that we received came as a complete shock. The email simply stated that many things had changed in the kids' case and that the agency was no longer looking for a foster to adopt home for these kiddos. We waited almost two weeks for that? There was no explanation of what had changed, if we had done something wrong, if there was any chance we could still have them...Nothing. I immediately responded to the email asking for an elaboration of what was going on and asked where we were supposed to go from there. The last time we spoke to anyone, we were told that we would set up a timeline of how to transition the kids into our home, and everything had seemed like a done deal.

After several more days, we still had not received any word. I sent multiple emails, texts and made several phone calls... desperate to find out something...Even if it wasn't what we wanted to hear. But I heard nothing.

After several more days, I finally received an email. This email stated that said that the foster mom had changed her mind and had decided that she wanted to pursue adoption. We had been told multiple times that there was no chance she would adopt them. Even the foster mom had told us that she was sure she wouldn't adopt them. However, now she had changed her mind and everything was different.

We were told there would be a meeting the following week between the case manager, the foster mom and the adoption worker, where a decision would be made as to where the kids would go. Obviously, our chances weren't good. However, I still held out hope that by some miracle we would still end up with them. It wasn't possible that we would go through that long string of events for nothing, right?

After several days of trying to process the change in events, I decided that I would email the foster mom. I wanted her to be fully aware of the impact her decision would have on others, not just herself. I knew she had struggled with the idea of letting the kids go, but I wanted her decision to be based on prayerful peace, and not panic. And I wanted her to know that we loved those kids enough to pray for what was best, even if it wasn't us.

I didn't really expect a response from her. The email was much more of a verbal processing tool for me rather than a hope to engage the foster mom. However, I received a reply from her the next morning and while it tore me apart, it also healed a part of me. She told me how she would be praying for us as well. And she told me that she had felt nothing but turmoil since the search for a forever family for these kids began. She said that as soon as the words left her mouth that she'd adopt them, all of her anxiety and fear left her and she knew she was doing what God had called her to do. It seemed hard to comprehend that someone else could be feeling the same calling that we were, but I knew that ultimately we didn't have that say. I know that she loves those kids more than anything and that God will provide everything that they need. He'll also heal our hearts and give us the strength to keep going.

One week later, on the day of the adoption meeting for these kids, we received a call from our agency asking if would be willing to take a sibling group of 3 girls. In all honesty, it felt like a cruel joke. There were 3 kids we already wanted and couldn't have, and here we are being offered 3 different kids. It took us a little time to process it and make any kind of a decision. In my head and heart I knew that we were not going to get the 3 kids back. And I knew that we had come too far to give up. So we said yes. We were told that we would hear back in a week after the county makes a decision on which family to approve for these girls. So now we wait...again. However, over the last few days, I've grown very thankful for the waiting period that we have. It's given us more time to heal and it's given us time to wrap our minds around the idea of taking on 3 different kids. We have no idea if we'll be chosen as the home for these girls, or if we'll receive another disappointing phone call. But we're not giving up and we'll continue to keep our home open and our hearts willing. And I know that God will bless that, even if it's not how we would have chosen.

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