For I know the plans I have for you...{Foster Care Update Part 2}

This is Part 2 of my "For I Know The Plans I Have For You" post, you can read Part 1 HERE.

...The email that we received came as a complete shock. The email simply stated that many things had changed in the kids' case and that the agency was no longer looking for a foster to adopt home for these kiddos. We waited almost two weeks for that? There was no explanation of what had changed, if we had done something wrong, if there was any chance we could still have them...Nothing. I immediately responded to the email asking for an elaboration of what was going on and asked where we were supposed to go from there. The last time we spoke to anyone, we were told that we would set up a timeline of how to transition the kids into our home, and everything had seemed like a done deal.

After several more days, we still had not received any word. I sent multiple emails, texts and made several phone calls... desperate to find out something...Even if it wasn't what we wanted to hear. But I heard nothing.

After several more days, I finally received an email. This email stated that said that the foster mom had changed her mind and had decided that she wanted to pursue adoption. We had been told multiple times that there was no chance she would adopt them. Even the foster mom had told us that she was sure she wouldn't adopt them. However, now she had changed her mind and everything was different.

We were told there would be a meeting the following week between the case manager, the foster mom and the adoption worker, where a decision would be made as to where the kids would go. Obviously, our chances weren't good. However, I still held out hope that by some miracle we would still end up with them. It wasn't possible that we would go through that long string of events for nothing, right?

After several days of trying to process the change in events, I decided that I would email the foster mom. I wanted her to be fully aware of the impact her decision would have on others, not just herself. I knew she had struggled with the idea of letting the kids go, but I wanted her decision to be based on prayerful peace, and not panic. And I wanted her to know that we loved those kids enough to pray for what was best, even if it wasn't us.

I didn't really expect a response from her. The email was much more of a verbal processing tool for me rather than a hope to engage the foster mom. However, I received a reply from her the next morning and while it tore me apart, it also healed a part of me. She told me how she would be praying for us as well. And she told me that she had felt nothing but turmoil since the search for a forever family for these kids began. She said that as soon as the words left her mouth that she'd adopt them, all of her anxiety and fear left her and she knew she was doing what God had called her to do. It seemed hard to comprehend that someone else could be feeling the same calling that we were, but I knew that ultimately we didn't have that say. I know that she loves those kids more than anything and that God will provide everything that they need. He'll also heal our hearts and give us the strength to keep going.

One week later, on the day of the adoption meeting for these kids, we received a call from our agency asking if would be willing to take a sibling group of 3 girls. In all honesty, it felt like a cruel joke. There were 3 kids we already wanted and couldn't have, and here we are being offered 3 different kids. It took us a little time to process it and make any kind of a decision. In my head and heart I knew that we were not going to get the 3 kids back. And I knew that we had come too far to give up. So we said yes. We were told that we would hear back in a week after the county makes a decision on which family to approve for these girls. So now we wait...again. However, over the last few days, I've grown very thankful for the waiting period that we have. It's given us more time to heal and it's given us time to wrap our minds around the idea of taking on 3 different kids. We have no idea if we'll be chosen as the home for these girls, or if we'll receive another disappointing phone call. But we're not giving up and we'll continue to keep our home open and our hearts willing. And I know that God will bless that, even if it's not how we would have chosen.

The Placement That Almost Was

It's been a little while since I've written any type of update on our foster care journey, but there wasn't much to tell. Until recently that is.
After all of the stress and frustration of our licensing process, and the fact that it took 5 months to complete, we were completely expecting some sort of feeling of accomplishment or arrival. A feeling that the stress was finally to an end and now we were on to the fun part. Except, we were never told that we were officially licensed, so we kept waiting and waiting to hear something...anything.
And then on Tuesday of last week, I received a call from our licencing rep. who called to tell me that everything had been submitted and we just needed to wait on them to file all of our paperwork. Good news! Then she asked if I had a few minutes to talk about a possible placement. She explained that they had a sibling group that needed to be moved to a foster-to-adopt home and wanted us to consider taking them. I was completely shocked because: 1.we were receiving our first placement call and we weren't even licensed. 2. it was more kids than we had planned on taking. And 3. the kids were a little older than we had originally said we wanted. I started thinking about car seat arrangements, schools, bedrooms, clothes, everything that we hadn't planned on.  I told her that we would think about it, and because the kids didn't need moved for several months, we had time to make a decision.

So, Wednesday comes and I'm at the grocery store and my phone rings again. I didn't answer it because I didn't recognize the number....but now I wish I had. I listened to the voice mail and it was the placement coordinator asking us if we'd take a brand new baby from the hospital and if we said yes, we'd have to be prepared to pick him up that day. I quickly tried to leave the grocery store and call him back. By the time I called (5 minutes later) another family had responded yes and their file had been submitted to the county. The placement coordinator said he would submit our file as well, and said he would respond once he hears something (within an hour or so). He explained that he would text me with a "yes" or "no". So we waited for a text message to come through that would mean the difference between going to sleep that night with a baby in the house, or life continuing as usual. An hour and a half later we received a text message that the county wasn't interested in a second referral, and so someone else had been chosen. We were really disappointed, but didn't really have time to dwell on it. In that same text message, the placement coordinator explained that they had another baby that would be needing a home the next day and wanted to know if we'd take her. Of course we said yes! So once again, our file was submitted and we waited. We were told that court was the next morning and we would hear something around 11/12 or we would hear something around 3/4 depending on when the court hearing would actually be held. I spent all of that evening packing a diaper bag and installing car seats and trying to prep Jordan for the possibility that he'd have to pick up the baby by himself if I wasn't able to leave work quickly enough. I picked out clothes, blankets, toys, books, snacks....everything I could think of that might be needed during the pickup. We were about to get our first placement and I was going to miss it...but I wouldn't be unprepared!

So then Thursday comes and I have to go to work and continue life as usual. We spent all of Thursday waiting for the phone to ring with a "yes" or "no". Again, anticipating that our lives were about the change. Around 1:00 I finally received a text message saying that the county had really liked our file, but they chose another family with more experience. Our placement coordinator assured us that it was great news that the county liked our file, and that it would help if we took on some respite placements to gain more experience.

So after 3 calls and 3 days of ups and downs, we still had no placement. It was a little bit of a relief to have an answer and not be in limbo, but it was incredibly disappointing. We had planned and hoped, but it hadn't worked out. We haven't received any calls in the last couple of days, so we wait. I do feel that we are better prepared for when we actually do get a placement, and for that I'm thankful. Throughout all of these possible placements, we prayed that if these were the children that were supposed to come into our home, that it would work out. We did everything that we could and the rest is left in God's hands...and after that we just have to trust. It's a relief to know that we may have possibly been spared of much more significant heartbreak than the disappointment that we felt. And we're grateful that these babies were placed with the families that they needed. So now we wait and wait a little longer, and keep our phones nearby for the next phone call. And pray for patience and understanding as we try to continue to live our lives.

Inspections Galore

This post is long over due, as several people have asked for updates on our foster care journey, but I've been too drained and tired to write anything. I kept saying to myself, "today I'll update my blog" but it never happened! Today, I had to take the plunge and say something.

So, we had assumed this process would go much more quickly and easily than it has. I've heard some people say that they were licensed after one home study and a few classes. That idea gave me great hope...we could handle that! We were told from the beginning (by our agency) that we had 28 hours of required class time to complete before we would start our home study process. That's not so bad! I told myself. However, after some recent changes in the agency, additional classes were added (18 hours plus 8 hours of CPR and First Aid, to be exact) which we learned about halfway through our other classes. To plow through a total of 54 hours of class time in a matter of just a few weeks is crazy. In addition to that, we had our home study process...

Being the over achiever that I am, I scoured the internet and different resources to find out exactly what would be expected of us so that we could be as prepared as possible. In my mind, we'd have everything ready, the inspector would tell us that they didn't need to come back, and we'd be home free! not so much. I quickly discovered that the home study process was more of an interview (more like interrogation!) process than an actual inspection. We were questioned until I couldn't even form a coherent sentence. Our home studies turned into 16 hours spread out between 4 visits. I got my hopes up every time the assessor came because I thought for sure it would be the last one. It was the only thing that kept us going. However, every visit came with an "ok I'll need to come back again" and another stack of paperwork. Every visit brought more things that needed changed in the house, and some things that we had changed and were told to change back the way it used to be. And every. single. time. we felt our conviction to keep going with the process depleting.  It seemed that at every turn we were hit with another road block.  

Yesterday we had our "final" inspection with the agency and fire inspection. Thankfully, we finally passed the agency inspection and completed our home studies!! However, our fire inspection didn't go so well. Within two minutes of the fire inspector's arrival, he discovered that all of our smoke detectors were placed a few inches away from where he wanted them and we would need to move all of them. His reasoning for this was that because our house has different ceiling levels throughout the house, the smoke would not reach the detectors. Ironically enough, an hour after he left I was cooking dinner and something had dripped into the bottom of the oven (which obviously smokes). I opened the oven door and the smoke filled the kitchen and immediately set of the smoke detector in the front hall. I wanted to call the fire inspector back show it to him!

He also discovered some outlets  (behind a bookcase and a couch!) that did not have protectors on them. I mean really, if a child is moving a bookcase I'd say we have more problems than the exposed outlet behind it. So, away he went and told us to call and reschedule another inspection. 

So, again I tell myself (and everyone else), we're almost done! Our licensing rep told us yesterday that she plans to get our paperwork in order and send some forms to the state so that we can get licensed. We still need another fire inspection and a trip back to the dr. for TB tests, but we're praying for no more surprises! I keep telling myself that a few years from now we'll laugh about everything that happened to get to that point and it will all be worth it!